I feel the constant imminence of excitement, of possibility, beating like a heartbeat beneath the pavement. Unpredictability has sunk its teeth deep into my bones, anchoring me to a terrifying city I can't seem to get enough of.
New York in the spring is the New York in the movies, the New York you dream about when you imagine making it in a big city, the New York that you actually feel good about living in.
You'll find that you can walk around with a broken heart and a lump in your throat, and still appreciate how gorgeous the city lights are, how good a warm breeze in the winter feels. You can ache for a familiar place but never want to leave the disarray that has gripped you because it's become a part of you.
Even though we're all so different, and will never see each other again, for a moment, we're all in something together. And I think that's beautiful.
To put it as eloquently and authentically as Tolstoy did: I have woken up. I have awoken from a pleasant dream to a terrifying and exhilarating new reality that has whisked the clouds from my mind and made me feel...alive. Truly alive, in a way I have never felt before.
I keep waiting for a crippling reality check, some sign to tell me this was a mistake...things couldn't possibly be going so well, could they? Didn't everyone say this city was "tough" and we were "crazy" for wanting to live here? As it turns out, when you make the decision to ignore negativity and just follow your gut...it takes you exactly where you should be. And so begins my love letter to you, New York.
The journey was long, achy, and at times smelly. But as I sit here typing on top of a box in our little kitchen, city humming outside, Marshall snoring in the dog-width hallway while my husband installs our IKEA table, I can say it was 100% worth the 3 day drive and 9 state lines we crossed.